The 3 Types of People (And Why Only One of Them Will Be Happy)
In my personal journey and ethnographic fieldwork on happiness, I identified three practical types of people, and concluded that only one type of people will become truly happy, here are my findings.
Type 1: Rat Racer
It is very easy to dismiss people who are very motivated in the rat race if you’re looking a way out of it, or looking from the outside. But unless you’re so lucky to have hippie parents, we’re all most likely born into the rat race. To be better, to achieve more, nothing’s ever enough.
Not everyone in the rat race are happy, so what make a true rat racer is that they enjoy the race. They love winning, and if they don’t win this time, they’ll make sure they win next time. They don’t question why they’re working so hard, they’ve these goals and they need to reach them.
They don’t ask big quesitons like what is the meaning of life, or what’s the point of living etc. This isn’t because they’re trying to hide a wound or the past’s a dark place for them etc., they could have wounds, but they’re simply not bothered. They don’t see any needs to heal wounds, they see the need to achieve. Get rich, get powerful, have it all. No time for therapy.
Type 2: Monk-like
Having been a typical Rat Racer, I’ve gone through some spiritual awakening moments to become type 2 Monk-Like. As an anthropologist, it’s also in my blood to ask big quesitons.
The Monk-Likes love everything mindfulness, talk about self care, heal their wounds and search for answers to big questions on happiness. In the process of doing so, you might see them start going to therapy, attempting to master Yoga. I have seen a lot of them in Brighton and Glastonbury, buying crystals and dried sage.
They’re monk-like because whilst some of them do become monks and renounce all earthly possessions in search for the nirvana (or Jesus’s way); many also practise spirituality as a layman. They meditate, pray and try to surrender to God or rise above (all the same really). They ocassionally experience a life-chanigng moment of eternal bliss (satori) and hope to remain in the bliss for life.
Type 3: True force
Through my fieldwork, I realise most people aren’t that extreme. Not everyone wants to be as rich as Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates, and most people go to Glastonbury for the festival, not because it’s the ‘heart chakra of the Earth’. Life is not always go big or go home.
Most people do their job, go home and watch tv, have a healthy social life, develop some hobbies, do some online shopping and scroll Instagram feeds. As long as they have got enough money to enjoy eating out or a holiday, and not have to worry about retirement, they are all set.
Among the Christian preachers, these people are the indifferent people who are the hardest to preach the gospel to. They don’t need Jesus because they are content, there aren’t wounds, they live everyday happily.
These people might seem ordinary but they are the true force of the society. If everyone is going through life changing awakening, or backstabbing others to get ahead, the society won’t run.
The ironic truth
The beautiful Chinese idiom 平凡是福 suggests that being ordinary is the ultimate bliss. We all want a good life, but the definition of good and happy are so different between these three types of people. But which of these three types of people will find happiness?
The most ironic truth is that, both the Rat Racers and the Monk-Likes, after years of toil or soul searching, are going to find happiness in the most ordinary everyday life, literally just like the True Forcers. From brewing tea peacefully to having time to read and hang out with family and friends.
The question that bugged me for a long time was then why do we have to work that hard, when the True Forcers seem to know that ordinary is the ultimate bliss? Why do people need to do a Eat-Pray-Love, read self-help books or a really bad burn out to get to the same place? Are we stupid?
One answer is that it’s our fate. We’re destined to be overachievers and/or spiritual people. Our childhood experience, wounds, family background, etc. all contribute to the path we have to go on. You have no choice but to take this longer way.
But this explanation annoys me because it feels unfair; just because of something uncontrollable by us, we are made to live a certain stupid way and have to fight obstacles after obstacles to live happily? I know life is never fair, but there must be better reasons for our suffering.
The Truth of the True Forcer
Which type of people do you think you belong to? The answer is that, throughout your life, you can assume any or all of these roles.
I’ve seen many Rat Racers also started questioning the meaning of their lives, and become Monk-like. However, they can’t let go of the super-achiever status, and take a even longer time to realise spirituality is not something you can work hard for. After a recurring cycle of letting go and working hard, they become relaxed — a True Forcer.
But a “born” True Forcer can also start questioning the meaning of his life, because it is so ordinary, it’d seem meaningless. So they also suffer, and potentially turn into the Monk-Like, searching for something they already have (!) Can you see how profound this is?
Where are you at right now? This’d be a much better question to ask yourself from time to time. Check-in with yourself. Have you lost yourself in work and forget to cherish everyday happiness? Why are you working so hard, what are you trying to prove? Is something triggering your need to win, most likely originate from a place of lack?
Although the ultimate bliss always lies in effortless ordinary life, it takes time and wisdom to appreciate that ordinary life is the bliss. Even if we do gratitude meditation and repeat mantras of lovingkindness, if you don’t truly feel the bliss with your heart, the concept of bliss remains in your head.
If happiness is only a concept in your head, it is not experiential. This means that you are not feeling it. It means nothing personal to you. Many people believe that being rich and powerful will bring them happiness, this is a classic example of having a head-level understanding of happiness.
True bliss is priceless and unconditional. You don’t have to be rich to be blissful. There’s nowhere you need to get to. Start experiencing and living intently — that is to live with earnest and eager attention to the living itself, then you may find your way to become an experiential True Force of the Earth.
I wish you experience happiness totally and wholly.
♾️
I post on Medium every Wednesday and Youtube every Sunday. If you are curious or interested in joining the journey with me, do check it out here! You can also follow me on Instagram @wildopenings. If you like this article, please give me a clap! 👏Thanks x
Midori at Wild Openings
